Self-Care
Self-care is a multidimensional, multifaceted process of purposeful engagement in strategies that promote healthy functioning and enhance your well-being. The relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you'll ever have, and its health is vital to maintaining balance and harmony in all areas of your life.
Self-care has been shown to:
reduce anxiety & depression
reduce stress
improve concentration
improve self-esteem & self-image
reduce frustration & anger
increase happiness
improve energy
As a recovering people-pleaser, learning to prioritize my needs over the needs of others was a difficult lesson to grasp, let alone practice. I felt uncomfortable with the whole idea and process. It took me several years to unravel the many years of conditioning to create a new and healthier relationship with myself.
Self-care isn't selfish. It's a conscious act that helps you connect with yourself deeply to give you space to grow into your authenticity. Sure, it can be spa days and spending time with loved ones, but self-care is so much more than that. It includes showing up for yourself, having healthy boundaries, knowing your needs and how to express them, and saying yes to the things that light you up while saying no to what takes away from your joy.
There are five main areas of self-care: physical, social, mental, spiritual, and emotional. To feel most at peace with yourself it's important to incorporate at least one act of self-care daily.
Here are some examples of the different areas:
Physical:
prioritizing sleep
eating healthily
daily movement
being in nature
Social:
maintaining healthy friendships
fostering new connections
networking
vacations with friends/family
joining a community or group
Emotional:
journaling
connecting + nurturing your inner child
shadow work
reading self-help books/material
learning about emotions on a deeper level
Mental:
speaking kindly + gently to yourself
seeking professional therapy/coaching
stimulating your mind with puzzles, crosswords, or reading
consuming positive material
stopping patterns of negativity + overthinking
prioritizing your mental health
Spiritual:
meditating
trusting yourself + your intuition
practicing gratitude
expanding your spiritual knowledge
creating a personal relationship with God outside of religion and the influence of others
There are many reasons why it's important to prioritize self-care. The one that speaks most loudly to me is that with a solid investment in yourself, you're less likely to be negatively influenced by the desires or persuasions of others because you'll know what's authentically true for you.
Knowing who you are on a deep level makes you unfuckwithable.
When you understand your needs, values, how to fill your cup, and who you are authentically, you won't seek outside of yourself for anything. You'll then make decisions and form connections from a place of wholeness without questioning your judgment or intuition, and you won't use others consciously or subconsciously either.
When you're interacting with the world around you from a place of wholeness, it's much easier to recognize when there's misalignment. Any situation or person attempting to use you for personal benefit will be easier to identify, keeping you protected from unbalanced and draining situations and relationships.
Establishing a self-care routine also helps to keep you on track both mentally and physically, resulting in your days being more productive. You'll experience an overall increase in positivity and energy as self-care promotes balance in all areas of your life. This reduces the amount of overwhelm, stress, and anxiety you feel daily, making you more adaptable to change, helps you build stronger & healthier relationships, and you'll recover more easily from setbacks.
If you're struggling with where to start, I suggest you start with small obtainable, and manageable goals. If you have a larger goal like prioritizing your health but don't have a current routine, start small by incorporating more whole foods with every meal and taking a 10-minute walk. Creating a daily, weekly, and monthly schedule will help your brain get on board with the changes you want to make which will help you overcome the natural resistance to change we all feel starting something new or breaking a pattern. Being mindful and flexible, creating balance, setting and maintaining boundaries, and making your self-care goals a priority will all aid you in the transition process as well.
You and you alone have the power to make the positive changes in your life to create the reality you seek. No one is going to force you to focus on yourself and no one is coming to save you from yourself.
While sad, people who benefit from your lack of boundaries, lack of self-focus, and lack of self-love do not want what's best for you because it's not beneficial to them. If you notice others trying to push back on your new boundaries and need to be self-focused, get curious about why that might be. How are they benefiting from the old version of you? Why would they not want you to make positive changes to your life?
Sometimes self-care looks like restricting access to the people and environments that hinder your growth. It's okay to let go of people and situations lovingly because they're no longer in alignment. If you're having to make the hard decision to end relationships or leave an environment, that's a great sign the positive changes you're making are causing you to grow and change. Just like a caterpillar must inevitably transition into a butterfly, you must trust the process of your evolution and leave behind what no longer serves the new version of yourself.
No one should ever love you more than you love yourself, and you should never love anyone more than you love yourself. Prioritize showing up for yourself because it's not anyone else's job to show up for you more than you do for yourself. We only have one life to live, so make sure you're living a life for yourself and not for others.
