Healing
Healing is not linear but rather a spiral, deepening the lessons as you revisit them throughout your lifetime. When you peel back one layer from a core wound or limiting belief, a new layer will be exposed, deepening the lesson. This unraveling reveals a new awareness and has the power to help you see the same lesson from a higher perspective. This process not only deepens your understanding of yourself, but you gain more clarity, compassion, and empathy for others.
I don't know where the belief originated from collectively that once you've healed from something or learned a lesson, you somehow magically gain the power to prevent the same painful experience from ever manifesting in your life again. This belief couldn't be further from the truth.
Healing is a journey, and part of that journey is allowing life to unfold naturally, recognizing when a pattern arises that's causing you harm and using your awareness to consciously choose better for yourself when the pattern circles back around.
A great example of this process is healing from cycles of addiction.
Addiction isn't just the symptom or outer manifestation (a.k.a. "drug of choice" such as chemical substances (weed and alcohol included), shopping, gambling, sex, food, and more), it stems from having deep feelings of overwhelm and insecurity that a person doesn't know how to cope with healthily. Sometimes addictive behavior is learned or normalized in a dysfunctional family system, but it's always perpetuated by a person's environment and choices. If no one in your environment challenges you or encourages you to make healthier choices, the likelihood of you coming to this realization on your own is very slim.
To get to the root, you must first become conscious of having an addiction and recognize how it's sabotaging your life in various ways. When you are in active addiction it's the most valued relationship in your life and takes up so much space that you barely have room left to show up for anyone or anything else in your life - including you! This perpetuates the dark spiral into isolation and self-destruction until you spiral so out of control that you fall face-first into a spiritual awakening without a choice.
Here's a quick hint about recognizing healing lessons - they start as whispers and if you ignore the more subtle and gentle nudges, they have no choice but to become loud and destructive so you become conscious of them.
Through the healing process, it's common to stumble and fall back into a pattern or addiction. Sometimes the addiction tries to be sneaky and takes on a new form, but you'll know you're healing out of the pattern when you notice that you're closing the gap on how long it takes for you to become aware of your self-destructive behavior.
The healing spiral takes you up in awareness of self, enlightening you to a higher level of perspective and self-awareness each time. In this example, as you climb up the stairs of consciousness, you begin to see the patterns, the points of vulnerability where you may stumble, recognize who in your life has your best interests at heart, and work through the deep-rooted trauma and feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, shame, and guilt that kept you bound to your cycle.
Releasing yourself from feelings of guilt and shame is the quickest way to liberate yourself from any attachment because those feelings tend to keep us obsessively reminiscing on the past and lead us to believe we're not worthy of what we desire.
What's important to recognize with healing is that you are only measuring your growth against the past version of yourself. You aren't in competition with anyone else, you don't owe anyone anything, and you're not expected to heal in any specific timeframe. Healing is never complete, and it takes a lifetime to deprogram your subconscious from the many unhealthy conditioned beliefs from your family of origin and society at large.
Just as we cannot be rushed through our healing journey, we must not rush others through theirs. It's a sacred journey that you only have the power to control for yourself. While it may be painful to sit on the sidelines and watch a loved one suffer the natural consequences of their choices, it's an essential part of mastering their lessons. If you intervene, you're taking away your loved one's opportunity for self-discovery and self-mastery, likely causing delays in their healing journey.
The best way to help others is to become the best version of yourself and to allow your healing work to inspire those around you. Nothing you ever say or do will convince someone to choose better for themselves if they aren't ready. By healing your patterns, it gives you the power to model healthy empathy, compassion, and understanding, which provides an opportunity for connection and mutual healing.
If you take away anything from this post, I hope it's this: PLEASE BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF AND OTHERS. We are all healing on some level from something known or unknown, so be kind. You have a lifetime to explore and re-explore your soul lessons so take your time, respect the journey for yourself and others, and enjoy the process and rewards of self-discovery.
