False Belief
"It isn't ignorance that does the most harm...it is being absolutely convinced of so many things that aren't so."
G. K. Chesterton (paraphrased)
The theme of false belief comes up often in my work with clients.
Sometimes what we believe to be true isn't grounded in reality or truth; it's an illusion or a delusion. A false belief is slightly different than a limiting belief in that they tend to be central to your identity and are negatively biased, inaccurate, and rigid. Limiting beliefs are more like assumptions or presumptions that you have about yourself and the way the world works.
We tend to form false beliefs from our personal experiences and take on ones from others close to us. For example, if you were constantly asked to prove your worthiness as a child to receive love by earning good grades, staying quiet, not complaining, and never questioning others, you may have an internalized false belief that you must prove your worthiness to others to receive love. To add insult to injury, every time you have an experience that proves this belief to be true it is further integrated into your psyche.
Some examples of false beliefs are:
"You must work hard to earn money."
"All marriages are doomed to fail."
"I have no power in this situation."
"I must have the approval of others to have self-worth."
"Those who fail are unworthy and they deserve the punishment they received."
"Change is hard and not worth the effort."
So where do some of these beliefs come from? Let's dive a little deeper into a couple of these false beliefs to learn their origin stories and how to override them.
"You must work hard to earn money."
This belief tends to be passed down from generation to generation when stuck in a poverty loop or lack mentality. The only reality the prior generations knew was to work hard for very little pay in the hopes of a decent pension or gradually increasing their hourly wage every year, one meaningless raise at a time. In this cycle, putting in overtime or picking up a second job is a common way to "earn more" to make ends meet or pay for unexpected bills that pop up. To end this generational pattern, you must be willing to expect more of yourself and out of life. Do the things that previous generations were unwilling to do. Invest in yourself and your future by taking the career path vs. entering the workforce as a low-labor employee. Whatever you decide to do, choose better for yourself and future generations to come.
"All marriages are doomed to fail."
This belief is common for children whose parents have made poor partner choices based on the patterns and conditioning passed down to them from previous generations. Most often this includes cycles or patterns of abuse, addiction, narcissism, codependency, and other unhealthy relational patterns. This message is only amplified if one or both parents entered multiple marriages that ended in divorce, especially during formative years. To end this pattern, a great deal of internal reprogramming needs to take place - especially around what love is and what love isn't. Until then, the children in this pattern tend to chase love fantasies, self-sabotage healthy relationships, and generally speaking, look for love in all the wrong places.
If you find yourself feeling stuck, confused, or controlled to an unhealthy degree by strong emotion, chances are that you're wrestling with a false belief.
So, if this is you, ask yourself "What will I do about it?"
By asking yourself this one simple question it helps you to cut through the false beliefs and brings about clarity. Now you can move into action to discover the truth of what you want to believe. What you believe to be true sets your limits, so be sure to choose beliefs that are in alignment with who you truly are and the life you want to live.
