Build Your Bridges Halfway

All healthy relationships require a mutual conscious connection where both people are coming together and investing in the connection equally. This is not exclusive to romantic relationships and applies to all areas of life - work, friends, and family.

Yes, there are times when one person must extend the proverbial olive brand or other nuances, but as a general guideline, this has been super helpful for me to break the pattern of over-giving in relationships.

I've gotten in the habit of making sure I'm taking care of my side of the connection. I do this by having healthy boundaries, clearly communicating my needs, managing my expectations to ensure they're reasonable, being self-aware, nurturing myself, and offering invitations for connection. Then I allow the other person to build their half of the bridge with the same, sturdy foundation.

When we come together in connection this way the relationship is mutual. No one person is doing all of the work to maintain the relationship.

Sometimes our bridges may need repair, however, that's now something that you do together as a team. You don't destroy the whole bridge, you simply tend to the loose boards in the foundation and continue to move forward together.

When one person is building the whole bridge or is consistently the only one managing repairs, resentments, and disconnection are inevitable. The connection is now one-sided where one is doing all the giving and the other is simply taking or reaping the rewards without effort.

This can show up in the form of a demanding employer where you're expected...no demand you work well outside of your contracted hours. Perhaps it's a neglectful partner that is too self-focused and abandoned working on the connection in pursuit of their work goals or hobbies. Or this can even be family or friends that expect you to do all the work to maintain the connection.

Choose your connections wisely and build your bridges halfway to ensure they're mutual.